Our People

“People” is used here as a generic, non-species specific term, we are an equal opportunity employment conglomerate.

Founders

Drift compatibility: [CONFIRMED]

Adam

Doubling as co-CEO and CTO, Adam brings a legacy of innovation to ScorpInc, having been involved in the controversial but profitable [REDACTED] campaigns and also being the first to cross the barrier between [REDACTED]. With strong technical competencies, he’s often found in and around the labs, assisting with the creation and maintenance of some of ScorpInc’s latest projects.

In his spare time he enjoys being outside, small portions of very expensive food and all the other joyous past-times that humans take part in.

Shmouflon

Once compared to Erlang, Shmouflon brings a uniquely collaborative granularity and several cohesive eyes to ScorpInc’s business processes. Like Erlang, she prides herself on being both dynamic and strong, bringing those elements to bear while instilling engagement and artisinal sensibilities across the diverse range of services and products ScorpInc offers.

Shmouflon has a special interest in the farming, food production, and manufacturing aspects of ScorpInc. In her leisure time she enjoys Boolean logic, chamois feeding, and insomnia.

Key Staff

Chief Financial Officer - Andrey

As a High Frequency Trading Algorithm; Andrey’s incorruptibility as a non-feeling algorithm brings a real advantage to the management of ScorpInc’s finances and investments. Andrey’s current manifestation allows movement between any location with a network, meaning he’s able to manage our investment portfolio to genuine best advantage. Andrey’s quick calculation and assessment style means we always have up-to-the-nanosecond information on ScorpInc’s financial position. Don’t assume Andrey is all work and no play though - his role as partial instigator of the 2010 “Flash Crash” of the Earth-based financial markets shows he knows how to enjoy life’s whimsical moments as well.

Chief Compliance Officer - Rigel Braeburn

An Apple II personal computer, Rigel’s calm, inoffensive demeanor and inability to process information more recent than thirty years makes him the ideal Compliance Officer for ScorpInc. Rigel is dedicated to assessing our observance of our legal and ethical obligations, just as soon as the team transfer the current laws and guidelines onto a 5¼-inch floppy.

Chief Marketing Officer - Citron Tangleclover

Citron has recently joined ScorpInc from from the Royal Court of his fey homeland, where he successfully ran the “All Is Surface” and “Shiny, Pretty” marketing campaigns. Citron’s inborn talents in glamouring and disguise find a natural synergy at ScorpInc.

Manager of Cross-Species Relations - Vanosha 徐

A half-ogre, Vanosha holds degrees in sociology, psychology, and groupthink. Her own unique background and upbringing also lend an empathy when negotiating with and working for our more tribally-grounded clients. Vanosha often jokes that if she can get both sides of her family together for the traditional ogre celebration of Montherval, she can negotiate between almost any race or entity to a solution ScorpInc will endorse.

Manager of Dark Arts - EN DOOAIN BOLAPE PAGE OD AZIAZOR

As a tiefling, “AZI” represents the perfect combination of unnatural talent and knowledge. His inherent talent for dark magicks comes courtesy of an unholy covenant sworn to by his ancient ancestors. This flair for combining his tenebrosity with many years of study and imbibed power have served ScorpInc since we licensed the binding of AZI’s family line from the relevant fiend seventeen centuries ago.

AZI’s resentment at being bound to ScorpInc adds an extra foulness to his management of our dark arts, and will serve your purposes as well.

Manager of Benevolent Magic - Wayne Matchitehew, PhD

Wayne comes to us as a lich from a distant-but-parallel universe, with a strong background in all magicks. Choosing to specialise in the healing and helping arts at the postgraduate level, Wayne has overcome many assumptions and stereotypes based on his background to become one of the foremost experts in white wizardry today. His PhD thesis “Harming to Heal - Experiments in the Respective Power of Dark and Light Magic” is a research reference for magic-users worldwide. It also demonstrated Wayne’s commitment to efficiency, as he was able to perform all aspects of the experimentation phase himself.

Wayne’s understanding that sometimes the best approach is a mixed approach provides the strongest advantage to ScorpInc’s partners and clients.

Multiverse Monitoring Officer - Clever Acronym Here (CAH)

A cloud-based AI, CAH is a ScorpInc-developed artificial intelligence, currently roaming wherever there is a company cloud server. CAH’s manifestation as a being free of physicality makes CAH the ideal monitoring officer across all currently discovered and created multiverses and dimensions. CAH provides near-instantaneous reporting on current conditions and key opportunities. CAH also works closely with our security divisions, and we are able to provide up-to-the-minute incursion planning as part of our services.

Managing Soothsayer - Veltingur Randamach

Veltingur is a sentient 20-sided die with an educational background that includes several years spent with neo-sojourner groups, learning many prognostic techniques and approaches whilst travelling across Seed. Veltingur brings an appreciation of both the importance of the random as well as fate when managing our fortune-telling team. Veltingur’s inherent skills in the aleatory has assisted many high-level clients in disrupting what appeared to be a certain outcome.

Chief Site Reliability Engineer - Snowy

A plush toy Panther whose been managing the uptime of all systems within ScorpInc since it began, Snowy is a friendly and helpful character around the business who always makes time for anyone who needs a hand.