Buy Now, Pay When We Need You

We all know undue financial pressure. The expectation to buy expensive Christmas presents for friends and family and managers. Needing a new suit for a job interview or International Criminal Court date. Take your personal jet in for maintenance and it needs a full turbine replacement. But why stress, when you can take advantage of ScorpInc’s Buy Now, Pay When We Need You facilities.

On signing a blood contract at point-of-sale, we pay the full cost immediately in return for a number of favours (based on the purchase price) that you will owe us. These favours may be called in at any point after the six month “no collect” period, including post-mortem as required by ScorpInc.

Because you don’t pay anything in traditional currencies, the Buy Now, Pay When We Need You services don’t require a credit check and can’t count negatively against your credit score or any traditional loan capability. This means you don’t have to worry about your emergency car repair counting against you later when you get a new mobile phone plan or want to look at buying your own house. Because you’re not paying in dollars, euros, yen, or obols, you won’t accrue interest either!

Some people are nervous about what favours may be required, but we make sure anything we request is within the capability of you, your estate, or your spiritual form. While we can’t guarantee they are entirely without risk, our prognosticators make sure that if you complete the requirements of a favour to the best of your abilities you will suffer no negative consequences. Whether we need you to get some records from your current workplace, add a dash of iridescent liquid from an unmarked vial to some food you are serving, or park your car in a specific zone, everything we ask of you will be within your capability and with no issues if you follow our instructions to the letter.

As part of the blood contract, you’ll be imbued with a spirit link that will be activated only when a favour is required, meaning no invasions of your privacy. When engaged the link will telepathically advise you of the task you must fulfil and the timeframe for when it must be done. Make sure you complete any tasks assigned, because failure to do so may result in being the subject of another’s favour.

When it comes to helping you out financially, ScorpInc is the name you will trust.