Help Your Billionaire Become A Star…Forever

So many of us are working for corporations and conglomerates that offer oppressive work conditions while also maintaining record profits. As seen in recent times the latest craze for multimillionaire and billionaire CEOs is to go into space, using the money they could have spent paying a livable wage to have bragging rights over a 15 minute moment in what could maybe be called “outer space” at a real stretch.

ScorpInc recognises how frustrating it might be to think about your CEO peeing themselves in excitement inside a spacesuit while you’re having to pee into a bottle to make your shift quota. To that end, we have created the new Heliocentria program.

Your workplace can join Heliocentria using the weekly payment your workplace won’t allow you to make to join a union. In return, we will either create or infiltrate an aerospace manufacturer, working with your CEO to guarantee a trip no one else has ever taken. We will use our Yaw Engaged Elevation Technology (YEET) to blast them towards the closest star, a genuine trip of a lifetime that they won’t be able to tell anyone about. ScorpInc will undertake all of this at cost, given the side benefits of seeing our competition leave the planet permanently.

While your CEO is zooming towards their extremely bright new future we will ensure they have enough food, water, and snacks to see out their journey. Unlike your CEO, ScorpInc cares about everyone’s comfort and physical needs.

When it comes to making everyone’s fantasy become reality, ScorpInc is the name you will trust.