Adversarial Brand Development Services

Do you have a rival company you think is taking your market share? ScorpInc can help. Our latest service, ScorpInc Brand Development, is all about identifying market fit, product naming, and brand design, and we’re the experts in our particular niche. We’ll work with you to understand the company in question and then reach out to them through our network of untraceable shell marketing firms. Once we’ve established rapport we’ll propose a brand refresh for them that is guaranteed to cause a stir.

You’ve probably seen our work before and never known our touch, because the same skills we bring to our privatised spycraft we bring to every element of our work. Our prowess doesn’t shine, it keeps us in shadow.

From product names for children’s apps that are also fetish terminology that someone should have looked up beforehand, to renaming companies to something so cringeworthy customers swap to a competitor, we’re always in the background convincing executives that not only was that terrible idea something they came up with, but also that it’s fantastic, daring, and will be beloved by all.

We don’t limit ourselves to creating disturbing or horrifying names either! Our full spectrum brand trashing services includes:

• Logos. From the garish to the phallic, we’ll ensure your opposition is widely mocked online and possibly receives sanctions from the local regulator based on various citizen complaints.
• Web design. Clashing colours. 20MB header videos. Text scaled to be microscopic on mobiles. Nausea-inducing parallax images. And even horizontal scrolling. No crime against functionality, user experience, accessibility, or available bandwidth is beyond our ken.
• Social media. Our ABDS interns have spent their entire degrees studying how not to do online brand work and they’ll bring all that expertise to the table. Through using/misusing slang from four years ago that is no longer “in fleek” to forcing disinterested staff to half-arse short video dance trends they will make sure the brand becomes a synonym for cringe in Urban Thesaurus. They’ll even develop inappropriate hashtags to try and astroturf on somber public holidays to ensure that the only words customers associate with your competitor are “Silence, Brand”.

If you’re currently or formerly employed by a company that works in a competing interest to us and don’t think your employer meets the criteria of our Make Your Boss A Star program, contact us today and we’ll ensure you can get all the benefits of our Adversarial Brand Development Services at no cost to you. You may become subjected to the worst jingle you’ve ever heard but you’ll also get revenge for a Christmas bonus that consisted of a pizza party and a motivational speaker.

When it comes to brands you know and love, ScorpInc is the name you will trust.