The job market is constantly in flux, industries going through booms and busts and employees finding themselves in high demand or left on read depending on economic conditions, moon phases, and the whims of esoteric gods like Markete. When the going is good, you want to know your worth and get every penny you deserve and when the going gets rough you want an ironclad contract to make sure no employer tries to leave you high and dry a week before holidays or quarterly shareholder meetings.
That’s where ScorpInc comes in. We’re proud to offer our new services in contract negotiation for both individuals applying for and unions working with any company that we’re competing against. Our well-trained team of KillBot-5000 series lawyers is up to date on every law, regulation, loophole, and human joint and are fully aware of how far each can bend or break to ensure you get fair pay, decent leave allowances, provided meals, retirement fund contributions, severance package, equity, and freely available, high quality stationery.
Our cold iron-clad contracts are designed to ward off interference from all known evils including blood sorcery and private equity. In the rare event that directors, boards, or acquiring companies try to bankrupt your employer to avoid paying out required benefits, we will cover the lost wages in the short term (and offer you a job of equivalent skill requirements within ScorpInc) while we extract your severance package from those responsible in your preferred payment form (cash, bearer bonds, flesh, etc).
If you’re a union rep about to head to the negotiating table with one of our competitors, our (contract/physical) enforcement representatives are there for you too. Your employer trying to cut back on vacation days? If they’re a global company I hope they’re ready to recognise every potential public holiday around the world. Introducing tracking of all warehouse staff? Introducing public broadcast of all executive messages and browser histories. You’ll also get access to our InterUnion Support Network to help connect you to other union members around the world. As a modern co-op union organisation, it is founded on the principle that members and sub-groups assist each other according to their ability, and to each according to their needs. For example if your healthcare profession lacks heavies, they’ll be happy to menace on your behalf if you’ll help them treat a few bruises and scrapes after the meeting.
When it comes to making sure you get smoko, ScorpInc is the name you will trust.