Due to an issue with updating training materials for our Holiday Workforce Yetis, we are doing a temporary recall of all 2024 holiday workforce staff designation “Mall Santa” to provide re-education. There are no safety issues with the current crop, however they are not aware of present year (2024) references and gifts and thus may be deficient in their duties until they have received updated guidelines.
Unfortunately due to temporal circumstances beyond our control, our Department Of Holiday Workforce Training Manual Printing was unknowingly caught in a time loop and repeated the year 2023, which meant all training material on [Hey Kayleigh, can you put three fire emoji here? I don’t know how to do it on Windows] gifts and slang used by younger generations was 12 months out of date.
We apologise for the inconvenience this causes and our Chronomancy division is working 29/7 to ensure that the disruption between returning your mall Santa and having them back in front of kids is as short as possible without risking dual-object timeline presence that can cause mild time sickness, temporavertigo, or deja vu in some time field sensitive persons. We have also introduced new policies to help detect and prevent near-year time loops within the business from remaining undetected. We should have realised that the percentage of “I don’t know if I like it” and other Priscilla-related references was unusual, especially among our younger interns.
When it comes to up-to-date memes and chronospace monitoring, ScorpInc is the name you will trust.